A Best Made Plan
by Zenki
Summary: Experimenting with first person perspective. PreStD, diverges. Rough draft, etc.
1. Chapter 1

For as long as I've known Kim Possible, there has been one universal truth--no matter my social standing or effort, she always manages to one up me every time whether it be grades, cheerleading, or even popularity. Yes, popularity. While I may call myself the Queen of Middleton High (it's only a self appointed title at best), the whole world adores her, the plucky teenager who saves the world before bedtime.

I had long strived to find a way to turn the tables on Kim, to find a way to show myself to be better than her at something, and all of my efforts were rewarded with failure and more praise for Kim. It seemed that everytime I directed my efforts at Kim, she always found a way to strike back twice over. However, a new, different opportunity finally presented itself one day after cheer practice.

I was quite cross that day. Cheer practice was over and that meant I had to go home. Connie and Lonnie, my two older sisters were on break from college and the moment they had stepped in the door, my boring and uninteresting homelife, with just Mom and me, had devolved into much, much worse. It was like junior high all over again.

With such a weary weight on my shoulder, I left the gym last. Ron Stoppable was seated outside, his Mad Dog mask in his lap. He was probably waiting for Kim, like always. He smiled at me as I walked past. I ignored him, silently cursing him for his good fortune. Both he and Kim infuriated me, Kim especially. They probably had the perfect life, loving, supportive parents. No older siblings to constantly trash their efforts, and when they go out and do something unexpected, they're suddenly the paragons of teendom. Damn them both.

I walked past him without stopping to acknowledge his presence, pushed the locker room door open and entered. I undressed, wrapped a towel around me, and made my way to the shower room. Most of the girls, no doubt eager to return to their sickening perfect homes, had already showered and were in various states of dress with the notable exception of Tara and Kim.

I weaved past the other cheerleaders towards the showers when I happened to hear a conversation between Tara and Kim. To avoid as much suspicion as possible, I turned around, sat down at the nearest bench as if to rest myself a bit, and strained my hearing to its utmost. Tara was talking rather animatedly with Kim and based on the amusing fluctuations of her voice I could almost visualize her gesticulations and cheery expressions.

"So Kim, you know whether Ron's seeing anyone these days?" How Tara could still harbor an interest for Ron was beyond me. She had Josh Mankey and he was a respectable boyfriend. Unlike Stoppable, he had the looks, had taste, and was an artist. Stoppable, well it seemed like he never grew up out of junior high at all.

It took an moment for Kim to respond, and I was surprised it took her a moment. Was she not his best friend? Didn't they spend most of their time outside of school together? Ron was Kim's lap dog. Her little toy that tagged along with her, feeding off scraps of popularity she left around. Why he was so eager to hang around and please her was a mystery which I had failed to unravel since elementary school. It was another one of those seemingly universal truths.

"Well, not exactly," she said. How could she be so vague, either he was dating someone or not. "He's very busy you know"

"Busy?" asked Tara. Bless her blondness, she can be a bit of ditz at times and very gullible. She was one of the few people in school who I'd willingly call a friend. Maybe she was the only friend I had, and for a good reason. All of the other girls, Kim included, were more than capable of treachery and lying, but Tara, she was amazingly sweet, straightforward, and very honest. It took someone like Tara to be willing to discuss the very idea of dating Ron in a public place, if one could call the showers in the girls' locker room a public place.

"Well, you know. The whole save the world thing," said Kim as if it were a big deal. If she felt compelled to save the world, she should have had the good sense to just not go around parading it like some badge of honor.

"You save the world every day?" asked Tara. Poor gullible Tara was impressed. "That's amazing," she said, no doubt smiling. "But isn't it very tiring? How do you manage to work so hard every day? I'd be a napping in class all the time." She clapped her hands, as if she had an epiphany. "No wonder Ron sleeps in all of his classes."

Kim groaned. "Not exactly. It's just that anything can happen anytime and that can kill relationships. Besides, aren't you still dating Josh"

"Yes, but his Dad's job got moved back East and he has to go soon." And she should be looking at Jason on the football team instead of crawling back to Ron. Poor Tara never realized that Ron could be as dense as bricks and never picked up on her interest.

Scarily enough, Kim shared the same thought. "Didn't you get tired of Ron last year when he never really asked you out"

"Oh no, I got tired of him playing hard to get," she said as if it were the truth. Poor girl, little did she know. "I'm going to be more direct this time and ask him out instead." I suppressed a groan as I imagined what a scandal that would turn out to be. "Maybe next Friday"

"You can't"

"Why not"

"We're busy Fridays," said Kim.

"So the two of you are dating. Sorry to put you on the spot. I feel so silly for..." said Tara, clearly disappointed, but apologetic.

Kim cut her off. "Oh no, you misunderstand me. We're not dating. It's just a tradition we have. You know, we hang out together, get some dinner. Friend stuff, you know"

"Well, in that case," said Tara. She paused and there was a slight uncomfortable silence. She probably was trying to gauge Kim's reaction before continuing.

I took advantage of the uncomfortable silence to rescue Tara from social suicide. I marched into the showers. "Kim, you know that cheer routine would be much better with me on top and not you," I said as if it were an undeniable truth. I wanted to bait Kim into an argument and prevent Tara from asking again.

Kim glared at me, and completely forgot about the conversation with Tara. "Well maybe if you can do the routine, I wouldn't have a problem with you on top"

Tara sighed, adjusted her towel and left the two of us. "See you tomorrow." She knew better than to stick around. Kim and I have had our heated arguments and today was one of those days I did not want such an argument, especially with Connie and Lonnie at home.

"Actually Tara, wait a second. I'll give you a ride home," I said. There, an excuse to break off from Kim and not have to think of a witty retort. I glared at Kim and we mutually, but not amicably, parted.

* * *

I drove Tara home, carefully explaining to her the whole notion of the Food Chain, again. I explained how dating Ron would be devastating to her social standing, and while she seemed to understand my points, I had a feeling that my words were just flying through her head, swiftly in and out. We had this conversation before, right after that terrible Camp Wannaweep incident. I knew she was ignoring me and would again talk to Kim tomorrow. 

I dropped her off at her home and began the agonizing drive home. Apparently, my sisters were having a little trouble with love at school and without boyfriends to keep them occupied that meant they had a lot of idle time at home.

I barely dodged a snarky comment from them and locked myself in my room, my only sanctuary from my sisters or my overprotective Mom, who still thinks I'm eight years old to this day. It was five o'clock, which meant two more hours of peace and respite from my family. I decided to pass the time by updating my diary.

I booted my computer and typed in my thoughts of the day. Over all, it was just more of the same crap, although Kim and Tara's conversation was interesting enough to mention. I finished summarizing their talk, when realization struck. Kim was interested in Ron Stoppable, despite her vehement denials. Or at least that was the impression that I got. Why else would she be so interested in hogging him to herself on Fridays? Dinner and time together every Friday, that definitely sounded like dating.

I quickly searched back through my diary and with this new understanding, I found plenty of evidence. There was that whole incident freshman year where Ron finally ditched his unkempt look. Girls were practically throwing themselves at him and Kim was unsettled by this. But with this new perspective, Kim was just unsettled by the change, she was jealous.

And there was that Asian girl who showed up out of the blue one day and was immediately familiar with Ron. I made a note of how interested she was in him and how clueless he was to that fact. How he failed to react to her impossibly cute uniform and amazing legs defied all forms of logic, but more importantly, Kim was definitely jealous.

More and more evidence, little bits and pieces tossed around which lend credence to my observation that Kim liked Ron, a lot. Sure she didn't admit it, but you can't argue with evidence, like the fact they had spent Friday evenings together. Would Ron reciprocate those feelings? I thought about it for a moment and concluded otherwise. Ron was more boy than man, and on top of that, back when Kim had her infatuation with Josh, he had helped her pursue him.

I was inspired by this finding, and I had finally found something with which I could knock some humility into the great Kim Possible and take her down a few notches. I typed hurriedly and the rest of the night was spent brainstorming a plot worthy of my sisters.


	2. Chapter 2

Mornings were my favorite time of day. First, it was the beginning to my day and given my typical high school day, the day was only going to get progressively worse. Second, my sisters were still in bed and were going to remain there until noon. Third, I loved the act of leaving home, because I got to leave the unstructured messes at home and participate in the structured, more manageable messes at school. There was the Food Chain, a set order, black and white rules.

But today was special. I woke up, and the first thing I did, even before brushing my teeth, was to call Tara and let her know that I'd give her a ride to school.

* * *

Thirty minutes later I parked my Mom's older car in front of Tara's home. 

"Thanks for the ride," she said as she stepped in.

"Yeah, no problem," I said. I shifted the car into drive and drove off. "Sorry about the whole Food Chain discussion yesterday." I had thought it through last night and her dating Ron would figure great into my plans.

"No, it's ok, Bonnie. I know you're looking out for me. We cheerleaders have to stick together!" Except for Kim, if I had my way. Miss Perfect didn't deserve the extra help.

"Yes, and I thought about it and who am I to tell you who you can or can not date," I said. "But please, why Ron?"

"Why not?" asked Tara. "He's funny, goofy in a good way. He's always happy. He's a great friend, just look at him and Kim. He listens, and even though he's more scared than my cat, he never gives up." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Granted, Tara did list of some admirable traits, but real life isn't a fairy tale. Good will and nature can only go so far; my Dad taught me that. And other than having a good heart, Ron was lacking in every other possible way. He was a nerd who refused to grow up and was probably going to aimlessly wander through life like high school and amount to nothing.

Tara probably knew what I was thinking. "I know you don't like him, but you're not going to stop me from asking him out?" she asked as I pulled into a parking spot in the student lot.

"No, you can date him," I said reluctantly. She smiled and hugged me. "But first things first, I can't have you dating Ron as is. We'll have to fix him up first."

She sighed. "I know you're looking out for me, but what if I like him just the way he is?" As if anyone with taste could find that poorly dressed, goofball loveable. Just the thought scared me.

"We're doing this. Trust me on this. You'll like him afterwards," I said. "We'll find him after school and you can ask him out then." She nodded and we both went to class.

* * *

School dragged on way too long and I welcomed the dismissal bell with the usual mixed feelings. Tara and I met up and searched around school for Ron in the usual place. He wasn't at the vending machines and wasn't trapped in some locker in D-Hall. He was neither in the cafeteria nor his locker. That meant he was probably with Kim. 

We walked back through D-Hall, past a freshman getting introduced to a recycle bin and continued on to Kim's locker. My hunch was correct. There was Ron schlepping around with Kim.

Tara didn't waste any time at all, which would have been a mistake if it were anyone else other than Ron. If it were someone else, it usually was far better to play hard instead of eagerly rushing up like Tara. "Hi, Ron," she said. She had hurried up to him, hurried up really, really close and caught him by surprise.

"Ah, hi," he said. "Hi, Tara." He gave me the briefest of glances and then focused on Tara.

"I was wondering," she said twirling a the end of a lock of hair. "Ron, would you be interested in going out some time"

His eyes bugged out and he started breathing quickly. Obviously, this was new territory for him. "Go out?" he squeaked out in between gasps. "Why? Mankey?" He probably was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and in his panic, he looked over at Kim, perhaps to divine an appropriate response from her. Maybe this was another reason I disliked him. Not only was he immature and childlike, he was usually incapable of independent thought. He did have his moments of intellect or initiative, but they were rare. He usually relied on Kim like a crutch.

However, today, Kim was of no help to him. She was too busy glaring at Tara and me. She probably really liked him, but unlike Tara, she lacked the ability to just say it. I grinned at her loss which antagonized her further.

"I guess, maybe sure?" he said. He did phrase it as a question but Tara wasn't willing to accept a no. She smiled brightly.

"Oh great!" she exclaimed and hugged him. She actually made body contact with him. "I have to make plans." And like that she was off, tearing down the hallway, almost skipping away. Ron, he had turned a bright shade of red and stood there paralyzed. Strangely enough, Kim and I shared a glance but it wasn't the usual one of mutual dislike.

She muttered something under her breath and slammed the locker shut. "Tara, wait up," she said and ran off after the happy blond, conveniently leaving me alone with Ron, who was still quite paralyzed and had turned such an intense red that his pink rodent was on his shoulder fanning him. It was a strangely charming and disturbing sight.

"Ron," I said. He didn't respond.

"Ron!" I said again, more forcefully and this time I pushed him. He was really out of it and still didn't respond.

"Hey, Loser!" I said angrily and pushed him again. Somehow vocalizing "Loser" evoked a hateful emotion that caused me to shove him a lot harder than expected and he crashed against the locker. This time he responded.

"Not the face!" he exclaimed, shielding his face behind his arms and turtling up against the locker and ground. After an uncomfortable moment, he peeked out from between his forearms, saw me and stood up. "Oh, it's just you," he said, surprisingly calm.

I jabbed him in the chest with my finger. "Tara just asked you out on a date"

"So that wasn't a dream?" I sighed. I had the misfortune of knowing Ron since elementary school and I had seen enough of his general cluelessness over the years.

"No, that was real. You accepted." He swallowed hard. "Obviously, is going to be the first time you've been on a date." He started to deny this truth but I silenced him with a stare. "You'll need to prepare"

"Prepare?" There were times I felt Ron was raised a feral child and completely lacked any concept of social norms.

"Yes, prepare," I said, almost through clenched teeth. A minute talking with Ron and my patience was already wearing thin. I counted off what Tara was probably going to do. "Tara's going to get dolled up. That means one, new dress. Two, she'll get her hair done. Three, maybe a manicure. The whole works. She's going to talk to her friends. They'll want to know everything that happens on that date and you better make sure she can tell a great story"

He immediately nodded. Apparently, Kim had taught him well enough so he could be reasoned with.

"So what are you going to do? You're not going to show up at her door without a ride, wearing worn Smarty Mart pants and that ridiculous jersey"

He pondered for a moment and I pondered what I would do to him if he answered incorrectly.

He sighed. "No, I'm not." Great, he was a fast learner.

I fished into my purse and handed him a personal card. "Tomorrow, three o'clock sharp after school"

He accepted the cream colored card and stared at my address. "Why?" He looked at me expecting deception. He had good instincts.

"I don't want you messing up Tara. She's my friend and I'm not going to let her date some froob loser." However, I was a better liar. He nodded again and tucked the card away into his ratty cargo pants.

We stared at each other for a moment before he caved in first and left. "See you tomorrow," he said.

"Not a word to anyone," I growled to him.

He nodded and left, presumably to find Kim. I watched him skitter down the hallway and then disappear past the fire door. It was still too early to tell whether my plan would be successful, but the look on Kim's face when Ron "accepted" Tara's offer was priceless.

It was enough to make the rest of my day bearable.


End file.
